Choosing To Leave The Past In The Past, In Life, Love, and Blogs

To blog or not to blog, that is the question? Well, the answer for the last few months has been a consistent “no”. Too many shows, too much of the day job, and a sprinkling of me growing really, really tired of the sound of my own voice (and the look of my own typed characters for that matter). It has been a quiet time, a pensive time, and a time of taking respite when and where a fellow can. None of these factors contributed much to this blog, obviously.


What’s more is that I had blogs written and ready to go, all sorts of stuff. But something in me didn’t want to do it … didn’t want to talk about the stuff I’d written or revisit the past. So I just let it sit. Long story short, after three months it’s still sitting, and that's a problem, especially since I really like blogging. 

(Is this familiar somehow?? It seems like I've written this blog six times now in various forms... but this one is the magic sauce, I can feel it!!!)

So, today I’ve decided to just forget that stuff and write what seems worth sharing right now, in this moment … and maybe make that a habit? But before doing that, I’d like to address the place I left things off in my last blog: life’s invitation to mystery and the call for me to let go of the side of the pool, so to speak. Well, that happened on an October night in late 2015; let’s call it a sudden, radical shift in perspective, with strength enough to fundamentally alter my worldview (while tongue in cheek, that's pretty spot on). The nature of such an experience is impossible to describe, but I would guess many of you can relate to such times in life, to greater or lesser degrees.

Evolution does not come about gradually, it occurs in spurts and fits and comes about due to a tremendous need for the organism to survive.
— Kymatica

Life became something of an adventure in the time that followed, as I’d undergone what may best be described as a personal “pole-shift.” Truly, this is how I experienced things, how circumstances felt for a time. Hence, when I write or talk about past experiences in terms of no longer having a “tool-set suitable for dealing with life’s stresses”, I’m referring to this radical shift and the following realization that my old tools held little utility within the scope of this new paradigm. Einstein said, “There are only two ways to live your life: as though nothing is a miracle, or as though everything is a miracle,” and that’s the kind of shift I’m referring to here: not a shift in belief, but a shift in knowing. Shifts aren’t believed, they’re known deeply ... that’s just the nature of shifts.

For as this appalling ocean surrounds the verdant land, so in the soul of man there lies one insular Tahiti, full of peace and joy, but encompassed by all the horrors of the half known life.
— Herman Melville (Moby-Dick)

As much as anything, this quote gets at the root of my journey: to know life fully. Yet, as with anything, consequence. Always consequence. In the clarity of my new perspective there were some aspects of myself that simply had to go, and it’s been a lot of work mopping up the floors since then. It always will be, although the form that takes may change.

For a time I thought this blog had to follow through those experiences or keep some sensible order resembling the flow of my life’s journey, that there was something I was supposed to do or share, but no more. Rather than dragging either one of us through that noise - at least in any larger, linear fashion - I’m simply going to pick and choose things to share as I go, mixing in this and that, past and present, you know ... a blog. It is called The Non-Linear Life after all ...  I think sometimes it just takes me longer to get things ... till next time!

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Americana Singer Songwriter Ed Dupas’ lived-in melodies unwind with reflective lyrics that speak to the current state of the human condition. Soothing where possible, agitating where necessary, and calling for change where appropriate. Ed Dupas creates and shares well worn wide awake music.

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